How to Spot a Cult (Disguised as a Company)
A Former PM’s Guide to Dodging Corporate sh*t, Cult Perks, and Corporate Gaslighting
1. “Cool” Companies Are Just Cults with Better Snacks
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Tech campuses are adult daycare centers. Free laundry! Nap pods! Ugly branded T-shirts! It was different world back then. In the 2010s, Silicon Valley was in a perks arms race to seduce talent. Onboarding felt less like orientation and more like cult indoctrination: “You’re part of something bigger! Our mission! Our cultu—” Sorry, I meant “culture.”
But fashion/media companies? Next-level delusion. At one gig, execs preached about being “cultural pioneers” with the zeal of televangelists. The C-suite? A cabal of 40-something straight white dudes in $3,000 sneakers, lecturing 20-year-old interns—who looked like they’d walked off a Vogue shoot—on “disrupting culture.” It was like watching your dad try to hop on TikTok dance trends.
Then I saw this post from a former colleague:
“Moved to Berlin at 19. Started working at 21 in the company I dreamed of as a teenager. 4 years in—still living the dream.”
Translation:
“Living the dream” = 50-60+ hour weeks, weekends spent Slack-mobbing influencers, and a boss who critiques your font choices like they’re Oscar nominations.
“Dream company” = Stockholm syndrome disguised as clout. Your ego gets stroked because you work at a “cool” company, while your sanity gets steamrolled by deadlines
Lessons:
New to the workforce and call yourself a “fast learner with passion”?
Beware: your eagerness makes you prime prey for corporate grooming. Companies dangle “growth” to mask 60-hour grinds—cults target the hopeful, not the skeptics.The louder a company screams “We are the industry leaders” the more it’s hiding soul-crushing dysfunction. The Devil Wears Prada wasn’t satire. It was a blueprint.
2. Never Work for a Leader Who’s Never Left the Nest
Near the end of my U.S. tech grind, I reported to a high school dropout CEO who’d built his empire. Let’s call him Andy (because that’s his real name). Andy ran TSM (TeamSoloMid), a $210M esports org, like it was a Call of Duty lobby—yelling, blaming, and dragging meetings into 3-hour scream sessions.
For me, it was comically surreal. For his starry-eyed 22-year-old employees? Trauma. They’d leave meetings shaking, convinced their careers were over.
Lesson: Leaders who’ve never worked outside their own cult—er, company—have no clue what “normal” looks like. Their playbook is Lord of the Flies meets LinkedIn inspo posts.
Pro tip: Stalk your future boss:
Google them. If their resume is one company + a Washington Post drama section, run.
DM ex-employees who fled to other companies. If they reply “😬” or block you, run faster.
3. Micromanagers vs. “Manage Up” Weasels: A Survival Guide
The Classic Micromanager
Early in my career, I had a manager who summoned me to his office 30 seconds after I CC’d him on an email. He called me to his office and with Shakespearean tragedy scene: “What is this email? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
My crime? A few grammatical errors (This was pre-ChatGPT—grammar sins were still mortal). I left that room with a PhD in corporate anxiety—and a lifelong addiction to Gmail’s “undo send” button.
The “Manage up” Weasel
Years later, a manager with the charisma of a Eurovision host and the spine of a jellyfish crooned: “This is great! I’ll champion it upstairs!”
Spoiler:
He championed nothing.
Instead, he booked a Zoom titled “Chat” (guest list hidden to hide HR as attendee)/
“It’s nothing personal, but due to market conditions we have to let you go”
💡 The main lesson here is that these managers aren’t evil.
In fact, they probably believe they aren’t at all. They are simply byproducts of a system that rewards paranoia and politics.
Your job? Outlast them.
Remember: You're not a lab rat. You're a chess player.
Closing Thought: Rebellion Starts with a “No”
If you’re stuck in a toxic gig, I get it. The job market’s a dumpster fire. But here’s the secret: Every “no” to bad work culture is a “yes” to building something better.
Say “no” to:
“Do you think you can finish this by Friday?” (Translation: “Can you burn your weekend to fix my poor planning?”)
The “kind-hearted” manager who genuinely cares but folds like a lawn chair when HR or the CEO barks orders.
The Korean proverb I live by:
“똥이 무서워서 피하냐? 더러워서 피하지.”
(“You avoid sh*t not because it’s scary, but because it’s disgusting.”)
Tony Fadell, iPod, iPhone and Nest inventor aka corporate poop-dodger, summed it up best in his book: Build:
1. Kill ’em with kindness.
2. Ignore them.
3. Go around them.
4. Quit.Quitting isn’t failure—it’s refusing to play a rigged game. The best rebellion isn’t yelling into the void. It’s quietly unplugging from systems that exploit us—and building something that doesn’t.
Beyond the Algorithm (But if you're into it):
Fashion company that does not suck: Sojo, mission to reduce the negative impact of fashion by making clothing repairs mainstream.
The DOR Brothers' AI video delivers a razor-sharp, creatively brilliant critique of today's 'broligarchs'—blending artistry with unnerving accuracy.
never trade your mental health for a cool
Been there, done that 😅